Four Years

Photo Credit- Bobby Earle Photography

This past week my love and I celebrated four years of covenant marriage.  Every year when our anniversary rolls around it brings back a flood of memories.  I had to look through some wedding photos of course.

Since our anniversary was on a weekday, it was a normal workday for Eric and a normal day at home for me and the boys.  I did make Eric's favorite  meal for dinner however and we had a nice evening at home.  We exchanged gifts, talked about memories from our special day and where the Lord has brought us in the last four years. 

Keep back ladies!  He is all mine!

Our little romantic dinner after we put the boys down to bed. The angle is a little crooked because the camera was set on the kitchen counter with a potholder.  We are fancy like that.  Also notice my keen fashion sense in my velour sweat suit.

Celebrating our wedding anniversary over the weekend coincided with another special date from our past.  On August, 18, 2007, I was in Gardnerville visiting Eric and meeting his family for the first time.  He took me on a dinner cruise that night and told me that he loved me.  He said it was a promise for the future and had really thought about what it meant to tell that to me.

M.S. Dixie II dinner cruise--August 18, 2007.

First dance as man and wife.  We married just shy of a year of that dinner cruise moment. Photo Credit- Bobby Earle

We got to have a great day out together on Saturday celebrating two special days in our history.  A&W were left in the very capable care of their grammy and grampa.  We drove up to Tahoe, had a coffee and walked around the shops and acted like tourists.  Later we drove back down the hill and had dinner at one of our favorite local restaurants.  Again it brought a wave of nostalgia because we had a gift certificate for that restaurant that had been given to us by a dear friend of Eric's that passed away two years ago this month.  His widow had given us the gift certificates after Monty had passed due to a directive given to her.  Eric's friend Monty had wanted to thank Eric for helping him and his wife go to that same restaurant to celebrate their last anniversary before he passed away. His widow told us that if Eric had an issue with it then he would just have to take it up with Monty in heaven. Monty was in a wheel chair at the time of their last anniversary and Eric had helped get him all situated in the corner booth so that he and his wife could have their nice quiet evening together.  As providence would have it, when we arrived they sat us in the exact same booth.  We did not mention it was our anniversary or request a corner booth but that was how it worked out. Eric naturally felt a little overwhelmed when that happened and we discussed how it was all good memories that were bringing on the emotions. 

Our traditional "we are going somewhere" pic.

I love him.

This was our best anniversary yet.  We had so much to rejoice in--our beautiful boys, Eric's new job, my ability to stay at home with A&W, loving friendships and family and the list could go on and on.  Last year we were very new parents and still overwhelmed with adjusting to life with two babies.  We are loving this stage though and are so excited for the years to come.  I can only imagine what God could do in our lives in forty years.  He truly delights in giving His children good things and we praise Him for it. 

Mini Family Reunion

This past weekend we all traveled down to Southern California for a mini family reunion and picture day in honor of my grandparents recently celebrating sixty five years of marriage. Is that not amazing, sixty five years?  My grandparents are such an amazing example of love and commitment to all those that are privileged to meet them.  I am so thankful to still have them here with us and grateful that they have been able to see our boys twice now.  

My grandma had one desire in honor of their anniversary and that was for a family photo.  With all the family, we had forty six souls in the photo.  My cousin Kristin, an amazing professional photographer, got roped into taking graciously offered to take the photo.  I know it is going to be a beautiful picture and I am looking forward to having those photos to look at for years to come.  Getting all of us together for that one day to take a family picture required months of planning.  My extended family always lived pretty close together and we would all get together one Sunday a month to celebrate birthdays.  My cousins and I have grown up however and we have migrated to different states over the years.  I have not seen some of my cousins since before Eric and I were married so it was very special to me.  It is amazing how life changes in five years.  I am now a married lady and a stay at home mom to two amazing little boys.  Most of my cousins have at least three children each so there were a lot of blond little kids running around.

My mom flew up to Nevada and we drove back down to So Cal with the boys. Then my dear husband flew down on Friday night, we had the photos on Saturday and we left early Sunday morning to go back home.  Did I mention that Eric arrived home from a work trip very early Friday morning and had to head out again on Monday morning?  The man is amazing and I am so grateful that he was so willing to go the extra mile to be a part of the weekend.   

Grandpa and Winston; Grandma with Abraham. The photo shows it was hot and the boys did not nap well. 

My grandma still has brilliant blue eyes--one link in the family tree where the boys get them.

My grandpa is in his nineties.  Does he not look good?

A family photo- Abraham(from left), Eric, Joleen, Winston, Mom Joanna, Stepdad Kurt, and brother Jeremy.

Me and my sweet Winston

These sweet little girls were the flower girls in our wedding and they were so happy to watch after the boys.

Our little Abraham at the park where we had family pics.

Abraham loved the trees.

Winston just took it all in.

My cousin and her husband hosted the whole family for dinner. They had the perfect back yard for a big family gathering.

Almost all the girl cousins.  This pic has two sets of sisters so I am the odd one out.

It was a whirl wind of a weekend but I am thankful we had the opportunity to spend time with my side of the family.

My Love

Eric is my one and only valentine.  My grandma Gertie, who has been married for sixty four years to my grandpa Dick, gave me some sage advice many years ago when I was waiting for God to show me the man I would marry.  She told me, "You have to be friends before you can become lovers."  Seems pretty obvious, right?  She was more right than I realized though because in our culture so many people want to rush right into having a romantic or sexual relationship before actually getting to know the other person.  We are a society that is in love with being in love without knowing what love really is.  Does that make sense?  You may "fall" in love but commitment is what makes the love stay.  Love is an action verb and not just an emotion. We are practicing love around here in an effort to make it perfect. 

My sweet valentine just got home a little while ago from a work trip.  He is worn out because he does not sleep too well in a place he has never been.  I don't mind not having an extra dose of romance for Valentine's Day because the reality is this man is so consistent.  He treats me like I am the greatest thing ever every single day.  I don't need roses or a teddy bear to help me feel loved by him.  I  love him and he loves me.  He truly is my best friend.

Hubby and me all ready for my special 30th birthday date.

Three Years...

Three years ago today, I entered into the covenant of marriage with my best friend. Before God and our witnesses, we vowed to walk along side each other in this life until death should part us.

If our marriage was a child, we would still be in the toddler stage. And a new marriage really is a lot like a new baby, rapid development and growth coupled with a constant maturation process. We have done a lot of growing in the last three years as we have come to understand what oneness really means. The rough edges continuously get worn down and our individual lives continuously meld. The starry eyed love is still here but it has a new richness, one that comes from living through both happiness and hardship together. On Saturday night, we had our first outing with just the two of us since A&W came into our lives. Some dear friends offered to watch the boys and we had a nice dinner and watched a movie. It was an activity that we did quite regularly before becoming parents. This time it felt odd and somewhat new. We had each other's undivided attention and got to reflect on all that had happened in the last year. We have two beautiful children and a home to live in. We commented how spending time with our children has become our new passion; getting in the car together to go somewhere without them felt weird. The greatest gift we can ever give our children however is the knowledge that their father and mother love one another, that they are committed to one another and committed to them. So it was nice getting to spend time remembering that our primary human relationship within this life is with each other; man and wife cleaving unto one another.

The pic is our traditional "we are going somewhere" self-portrait from our date night:



- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

A Reflection on May 2008

The question may be "Where have you been?" Well as you can see by the dates on the posts I had created drafts for the blog but they never were finished. I hit a tough spot in May. May 2008 had represented lot of change in my life. May 2008 was also one of the more difficult and stressful times of my life. The last couple months have been a lot of reflection on that and while I am thankful that the Lord brought me out of it I would never want to go back there. Physically I am still in recovery mode. I was in a hit and run accident on May 3, 2008, while on the way to see my grandpa Simon who was on hospice care. Due to the circumstances of his death only days later, my impending move, trying to get my condo packed up and leased out, having to move my start date for my new job and and an insurance company that was entirely insensitive to my situation, I never received the treatment and care I needed. That in itself is an ongoing situation. Then not sleeping for months, a new job with a 140 mile round trip commute in an entirely rural community and feeling exhausted all the time was too much. I thank God I finally found a doctor that told me something more than "seizure meds make you tired." I was 26. It was not normal to be that physically exhausted all the time. More than a year later now with the oral steroids and the supplements I am doing much better with the adrenal insufficiency diagnosis I received.

I think about my Grandpa Simon every day but as I was approaching May 2009 and the day that he had passed away I felt it more acutely. I was not in the place to write about it or necessarily even talk about it. I look back and realize I did not get to grieve for him because I was trying to pick up and start a whole new life. In grief you surround yourself with your family, close friends and put yourself in an environment you are comfortable with. Instead I had no family and friends, a temporary living situation and a new job. I had no comfort other than Eric. There were times early in our marriage I would come home crying because I had spent the last hour driving and thinking about grandpa Simon. I am grateful for my faith at that time. I am incredibly grateful in my assurance that my grandfather was a Christian because his death was not the end. I often remind myself that my sadness is selfish because for him to live was Christ but to die was gain. My grandpa no longer suffers. He has no pain. He no longer deals with "quality of life" issues. I am so blessed and privileged to say that Simon Sybrandy was my grandfather. He was a godly and Christ-like man. I am able to say that by emulating him that I can emulate Christ. That is an awesome thing to say about someone. He was quick to listen, slow to speak, slow to become angry, he was incredibly dignified, his yes was a yes and his no was a no, he was loving husband and father, a devoted church goer and member. He was humble and well aware of his need of grace. I will remember the way he prayed. When I cry these days it is because of happy memories. I marvel at the care and attention that my grandmother showed him for more than a decade as he battled cancer that brought on contingent health issues. I never heard her complain just resolutely state what needed to be done. I often did hear her reference her vows and how she wanted to take care of grandpa. I saw her cry when he would be really ill because of her great love for him and her sadness at losing him. I think that is what was the hardest-- seeing my grandmother tell him good bye. Again I am so grateful for such a tangible learning lesson on active, sacrificial love and what real commitment is. When I walked down the aisle and said my vows to Eric only a couple months later I was very cognizant of the long term implications of what my vows were because I had seen them fleshed out in my grandparents. I thank God for the legacy of faith that I have in my family.