FAQ #6

So where does the name Matthias come from?  What made you decide on that?

For those that have been keeping up on the blog this past year, although there have not been that many posts, you know that the early part of my pregnancy with Matthias was really difficult.  As the pregnancy progressed, the anxiety never really left me and I had to really submit the outcome of everything to the Lord.  I just really had to focus on God's character and that He does all things well.  Eric and I had a hard time coming up with another boy name.  We were well into the third trimester and while we had slowly whittled down the potential name list, we had nothing settled upon.  Eric had major pull when it came to naming the twins so I told him that I needed to have the deciding factor this time.  One name I ran across in a search for classic, traditional or Biblical names was Matthias which means "Gift of God."  I knew Matthias was the apostle that replaced Judas but I had not known the meaning.  I thought it was perfect and a happy compromise to another of my favorites, Tobias, which means "God is good." I liked that Matthias was not common but still had familiarity as a Biblical name.  I thought he could also call himself Matt down the road if he so chose. We had the name Theodore on our short list as well which was the name of  Eric's maternal grandfather.  I was afraid that if we named our son Theodore that people would think we were major narcissists that projected world leaders' names onto our children.  We then would have the names of two American presidents and a prime minister in our family.  So Theodore became a middle name and in God's perfect sovereignty it also means "God's good gift."  Our Matthias is truly a good gift given to us by our Lord.  His birth has been an incredible spiritual blessing for me as I have reflected on God's kindness and faithfulness to our family.

Baby Model

Third Trimester

Today is a special day in that Baby Seymour is officially 37 weeks and considered full term.  The real count down is finally on!  People ask me when I am due and I just say the second week of September.  The Maternal Fetal Medicine doc gave me a September 8th due date and my regular OB had either the 9th or the 10th.  Based on the 10th, which is what my OB's office is going by, our little man is full term and could safely arrive at any time.

28 weeks

30.5 weeks

So the million dollar question:  How are you feeling?  Today I am great and feel like I could be pregnant forever.  Yesterday I was tired and miserable.  I honestly just have my good days and bad days.  I try to take the good days and get lots of stuff done around the house because the next day I may be laying on the couch with the boys while I let them watch TV.  I had a pretty good false labor run the second week of August but eventually knew it was not the real thing. Having contractions for over 6 hours that were five minutes apart and a minute in duration did take it out of me for a couple of days.  I am grateful that the baby stayed put and now I plan on upping my activity and walking to help my body prep for labor.  At 36 weeks I was only a fingertip dilated but my cervix was already soft.  At 36-37 weeks with the boys, I was not dilated and my cervix was rigid so I was happy to hear that my body seems to be on board with what needs to happen this time around.  I want to avoid medical induction by all means necessary.  I have been taking evening primrose oil and drinking raspberry leaf tea to help prep my body for labor.  Will it actually help? I have no idea but I figure it is worth a shot. 

35 weeks

The whole summer pregnancy has been overall really enjoyable. I thought it would be difficult with the heat but I enjoy the warmer weather and I am not miserable at all.  I like that I can wear a maxi skirt or dress and look entirely appropriate.  I have not had swelling this pregnancy so I still have my wedding ring on and my feet look completely normal.  It has been nice to compare and contrast the winter vs. summer pregnancies.  

I am asked a lot if this pregnancy is different than when I was pregnant with our twin boys. The answer is both yes and no.  Pregnancy can have difficult aspects and symptoms and I have experienced them in both of my pregnancies.  In general, the pregnancy with our twins was much more difficult in the second and third trimesters.  This pregnancy was harder in the first trimester due to more intense morning sickness and my subchorionic hemorrhage but since then has been very easy.  Most everything with the twin pregnancy was a lot more intense--the heartburn, rib pain, back pain, insomnia, congestion, pitted edema, etc.  To put it into perspective,  I delivered the boys at 37 weeks and my uterus was measuring at 48 weeks.  I had spent most of my third trimester with the fundal height of a woman carrying a full term baby.  Now I am 37 weeks and I am measuring about 37 weeks.  I can do this and I can hang on like this for quite a while.  I have a short torso so I carry entirely out but my doc says the baby is not looking big at all.  Since I had a 7 lb. 9 oz. twin, I am very thankful to hear that. 

36.5 weeks- heading out to celebrate our fifth wedding anniversary

Now that I am 37 weeks, I will have Eric take another pic and we can do a belly shot comparison of a twin vs. singleton pregnancy.  One thing I have also really enjoyed about this pregnancy is being able to nest. We moved about ten days before the boys were born so I never got the opportunity to really organize and clean how I wanted to.  We were simply trying to get the house to be functional.  It totally was thanks to the help of family and friends but there were still boxes that had not been touched months after the twins were born.  This time around it feels good to organize a closet, sort through paper work, etc. and feel like the house is getting ready for our little arrival. 

Eric and I feel very blessed that our baby is doing so well and look forward to sharing our happy news once he finally makes his appearance. 

FAQ's #5

Do you always dress your boys the same? or Do you always dress them differently?

If I am in the store and I have the boys in matching outfits then I am asked if I ever dress them differently.  If I have them in coordinated outfits or completely different colors, then I am asked if I ever let them match.  Obviously it totally depends on the day and what people perceive the situation to be.  I think dressing the boys in matching outfits at this stage is harmless.  It looks cute and makes grouping laundry and planning outfits for the day a lot easier for me.  Also, I do not buy the boys clothes unless it is a really special occasion e.g. dress outfits for a wedding.  The boys wear clothes that have been gifted.  People love buying twins matching clothes and I am okay with that.  The boys also have a lot of hand me downs, much of which is from a family at our church that has twin boys.  The hand me downs tend to coordinate easily and I can put the boys in similar outfits but different colors and patterns. Once Abraham and Winston start displaying a preference for a certain color or style then I will absolutely affirm that and start dressing them accordingly.  If they tell me that they want to match some times then I will also support that.  I do not see a hard line or cut off to discontinue the matching outfits.  I am kind of laid back as a twin mama when it comes to the clothes thing because we try to really treat our boys as individuals. I think because they are monozygotic (identical) twins I am very cognizant of trying to treat them as individuals.   I am not too worried that they will hate me someday for putting them in matching outfits.  If anything when I put them in matching or coordinated outfits, it reaffirms in my mind that they are equals and that there is no favorite.

Matching except for socks and shoes.

Similar shirts and shorts but in different colors.

Both in polo shirts but different colors.

FAQs #4

Your children's names are very distinctive, strong, old fashioned, etc.  Why did you choose names like that?  Are those family names?

Thanks...I think.  Most of the time people make positive comments about the boys' names but sometimes the tone and wording leans a bit more towards the critical. The reality is that no matter the name a couple chooses for their child, some people will not like it.  I am quite alright with that. All that to say, Abraham and Winston are not family names.  We wanted names that were readily recognizable but not common.  In our circles we did not know any children with the name Abraham or Winston.  We also wanted names that connotated strength of character and leadership.  With Abraham we thought of the patriarch of the Old Testament, Abraham Kuyper the theologian and Abraham Lincoln the president of the United States.  The name Winston immediately brought to mind Winston Churchill, the so called Lion of England.  It was also important to name our children with the idea that one day they were going to be men as opposed to naming little babies.  Hopefully that last sentence makes sense.  We were looking to the future and hope that our sons would be out in the world and no matter their vocation that they could be be proud of their names and identities.

We personally did not want rhyming or alliterative names for our boys.  Since we knew that our boys would be monozygotic (identical) twins we did not want their identities to be entirely about their twinhood.  We wanted stand alone names that were entirely separate from one another and to help us keep from mixing the boys up.  Please understand that is our personal preference and I am not criticizing people that choose similar names for their mutiples.  It was just not our way of doing it.

I am personally also really into the meaning of names and liked the meanings of Abraham and Winston.  When we decided to have the boys' middle names after their great grandfathers, we liked how Abraham worked with another biblical name, Simon, and how Winston worked with another English/Germanic name, Carol. 

Abraham- Father of nations
Simon- Listening, has heard

Winston-Joyful stone
Carol-Free man

It is our prayer that our little boys will one day be strong, independent men that love the Lord and will be bold in proclaiming His name. 

Winston Carol (from left) and Abraham Simon

FAQs #3

Wow, you had two kids all in one shot.  Now you can be done.

or

You're done right?
or
Do you still want to have more children?

Oh boy.  I have heard variations of these questions soooo many times.  Those questions are very personal and quite frankly are nobody's business except for me and my husband.  Sometimes it is phrased as just an assumption and a declarative statement.  I started getting this question even before the boys were born.  People did not even give us a chance to adjust to being first time parents times two before bombarding us with the questions.  I was simply trying to get used to having two babies and was not thinking about if and when I was having more.  To give a direct non-direct answer, we are pro-baby and pro-adoption.  It is our desire to add another child(ren) to our family.  I don't know what path God will take us on.  Right now we are just enjoying the little guys that we have been blessed with. 

Aren't you scared of having another set of twins?

If I had been asked that when the boys were two months old, I would have leaned towards yes.  The bonus to having twins as the first born children is that we don't know any better.  All we have ever known is twice the diapers, baths, laundry, cost and crying along with half the amount of sleep.  On the other side of that equation is that we have only ever known twice the coos, giggles, smiles and hugs.  It was super hard those first three months but each month has gotten better.  Now I cannot imagine not having both of my little guys here with us.  I think it is absolutely amazing that God allowed us to have these babies and we would gladly welcome another double blessing.  When we found out that we had conceived twins, we felt it was very apparent that God wanted us to be parents.  If He was pleased to give us another set of multiples then we would be thrilled.  Besides, having another set of twins would allow us to perfect everything we learned the first time around. 

FAQs #2

Are your twins natural?  Did you have IVF or use fertility treatments?

Our twins were conceived spontaneously.  In my mind, using fertility treatments in order to conceive in no way diminishes the wonderful miracle of bringing a child into the world.  It is a super personal decision for a couple to arrive at and therefore people should not ask strangers about their reproductive choices but alas they often do.  I get asked all the time...sigh. 

Do twins run in your family?

Yes, fraternal twins run in my family.  I have cousins that are boy/girl twins and my maternal grandmother had fraternal twin brothers.  The fact that our twins are identical or monozygotic made it that much more of a surprise.  Statistically there are not higher occurrences of monozygotic twins in certain geographic regions or ethnicities like there are fraternal twins.  The research has not been conclusive if there is a genetic link to monozygotic twinning. 

Were your twins really born more than five hours apart or was that a typo on the birth announcement?

Yep, they really were born more than five hours apart and it definitely was not a typo.  Once Abraham was born, Winston who had been in the breech position flipped to the vertex position.  He had lots of room in my very distended uterus and was in no hurry to come out.  My labor was augmented with pitocin so that I did not have a significant stall in labor after delivering Abraham.  After about 2.5 hours of no real progress, I had to push Winston down in order to get him into position.  It took about another 2.5 hours of active pushing but I got my 7 lb. 9 oz. twin baby out after a posterior presentation.  If not for the pitocin, I am pretty sure they would have been born on different days and my OB actually had a couple of twin moms' whose twin babies had different birthdays.  I think people are so used to twins either being delivered by c-section or the second twin being manually extracted that they forget or don't realize that it can take quite a few hours to deliver another baby if the body is left to its own devices. 

As an aside, my dear grandma lives in a retirement community with many other Dutch emigrants.  When the boys were born she went around telling everyone the news and the boys' relevant stats.  A lady who supposedly had identical twins herself told my grandma that there was no way that our babies were identical twins because they would need to be born within minutes of each other.  My grandma got pretty indignant and told her, "My granddaughter went to college and she studied science.  I know that she knows and that's that."  Apparently it turned into a bit of a squabble and the activities director encouraged them to be more civil about it.  I love that my grandma had such confidence in my educational background but I am A&W's mother, shouldn't I be the one to know regardless?  People never cease to amaze me. 

FAQs #1

In an effort to complete a post for every day in November for NaBloPoMo, I am running through ideas I have had for posts in the past but never seem to get to.  I will be answering frequently asked questions(FAQs).  These question and answers will pertain to having twins and all that it entails.  I don't have a problem with people asking a lot of questions about the boys when we are out and about but what makes me incredulous is when they ask a question, you answer and they argue with you.  In my head I am thinking, "Hey, I am their mom.  I think I would be the one to know." People mean well but there is a lot of myth and miseducation when it comes to twins. So here it goes, some of the frequently asked questions:

Are your twins identical? 
Yes, our boys are identical.  The technical term is monozygotic.  Abraham and Winston were once a single zygote hence they are monozygotic twins.  In that one zygote was all the genetic information that was needed to form a baby.  That single zygote then split to form two separate embryos.  It's pretty incredible to think about how that zygote split and God made two separate babies with two separate intellects and personalities from it.  Monozygotic twins are not carbon copies of one another however due to the physical expression of their genes, that is their phenotype.  The zygote splitting is not a perfect 50/50 split.  One embryo may gain more copies of a gene than another.  A gene may be "turned off" in one embryo and active in another.  Identical twins often look very similar but have many differences as well.  I know a set of identical twins that look very much alike but one has visibly curly hair while the other twin has straighter hair.  Most people know that monozygotic twins still have different fingerprints from one another.  All that to say, monozygotic twins are unique and are not "identical" in the sense that the term is often used. 

How do you know?
We were told that our twins were monozygotic at one of our earliest ultrasounds due to the presence of only one placenta.  Fraternal twins have two separate placentas (since they are conceived as entirely different embryos) and identical twins almost always have a single placenta.  So the boys each had their own amniotic sac but shared their oxygen and food supply through a single chorion.  These twins are known as diamniotic monochorionic (di-mo) twins.  There are cases of the placenta of fraternal twins fusing and looking like a single placenta. When the boys were born, I asked the doctor if it did indeed look like a single placenta.  All signs pointed to a single placenta and while we never had the genetic test done to absolutely confirm that they are monozygotic, we are almost positive they are.

Hmmm, I thought identical twins were always in the same sac.

Nope.  Monoamniotic monochorionic (mo-mo) twins are very rare and when it does happen there is a very high chance of fatality because with no membrane separating the babies, they can easily tangle up their cords and cut off each other's blood supply.  The membrane between the boys was very apparent even at our first ultrasound.  Sure it may look like the babies are really touching one another but they each have their own sturdy amniotic sac containing them and keeping them safe. 

So do you think our boys look identical?