Matthias was in bed before 10 pm tonight. I am learning his little preferences and how to get him down without numerous wake ups or having to just lay down next to him. Celebration! Now if the older two would sleep through the night without any crying or wake ups, it would almost be miraculous.
Showing posts with label Sleep Training. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Sleep Training. Show all posts
Wednesday, November 20, 2013
Monday, November 11, 2013
Sleep Issues
So would you think by the title of this post that I am going to talk about my newborn? Maybe, but you would guess wrong. I expect newborns to take a while to get the sleep thing down and Matthias is actually making great progress there. I am instead concerned about my toddlers.
So here is the deal. For the last ten months they have been waking up through out the night. Yes, you read that right, TEN months. It is a seeming combination of night terrors and just wanting us to tuck them back in, find their sippy cup, etc. for a sense of security. It has had peaks due to the two-year molars poking through but it has never completely stopped. Generally they both wake up but sometimes they seem to almost alternate nights. There will be occasional nights where they both sleep through the night with no wake ups but it is very rare. With the night terrors we know the scream that tells us it is fear. With them waking up for comfort issues I still feel compelled to get up. We have long ditched the baby monitor so these are pretty loud cries. Since Eric is gone frequently for work I am trying to deal with the older boys as well as the newborn all by myself. It is exhausting. I try to get to bed earlier but a frequent wake up time for them is around 11:30 p.m.-12:00 a.m. We have looked at what may be stimulating them too much before bed time but sugar, caffeine and scary things on TV are not factors at all. We have approached it as strict disciplinarians and with an attitude full of love and grace. We are just looking for advice and opinions. I have talked to Eric about this numerous times this past week while he has been on the road because it is currently the single most thing I am struggling with. And with the time change, they are still waking up about 5:00-5:30 am. While we have been in So Cal, they have been going into my parents' room and waking them up because they know they will be in trouble if they wake me up that early. I already have adrenal issues. I simply need sleep or I am going to hit the wall. When the older boys were babies, I used to dread night time because of the colic issues and sleep deprivation. Now I am back at that point and it is still because of the twins. I am so seriously thankful that Matthias has been such a sweet, easy going baby.
Who has survived this? How? Did it just take time or were you able to resolve it? Please e-mail me if you have input on this issue. And please pray for me. I really need that more than anything. Pray for patience, fortitude and that the boys will outgrow this stage.
So here is the deal. For the last ten months they have been waking up through out the night. Yes, you read that right, TEN months. It is a seeming combination of night terrors and just wanting us to tuck them back in, find their sippy cup, etc. for a sense of security. It has had peaks due to the two-year molars poking through but it has never completely stopped. Generally they both wake up but sometimes they seem to almost alternate nights. There will be occasional nights where they both sleep through the night with no wake ups but it is very rare. With the night terrors we know the scream that tells us it is fear. With them waking up for comfort issues I still feel compelled to get up. We have long ditched the baby monitor so these are pretty loud cries. Since Eric is gone frequently for work I am trying to deal with the older boys as well as the newborn all by myself. It is exhausting. I try to get to bed earlier but a frequent wake up time for them is around 11:30 p.m.-12:00 a.m. We have looked at what may be stimulating them too much before bed time but sugar, caffeine and scary things on TV are not factors at all. We have approached it as strict disciplinarians and with an attitude full of love and grace. We are just looking for advice and opinions. I have talked to Eric about this numerous times this past week while he has been on the road because it is currently the single most thing I am struggling with. And with the time change, they are still waking up about 5:00-5:30 am. While we have been in So Cal, they have been going into my parents' room and waking them up because they know they will be in trouble if they wake me up that early. I already have adrenal issues. I simply need sleep or I am going to hit the wall. When the older boys were babies, I used to dread night time because of the colic issues and sleep deprivation. Now I am back at that point and it is still because of the twins. I am so seriously thankful that Matthias has been such a sweet, easy going baby.
Who has survived this? How? Did it just take time or were you able to resolve it? Please e-mail me if you have input on this issue. And please pray for me. I really need that more than anything. Pray for patience, fortitude and that the boys will outgrow this stage.
Sunday, November 6, 2011
Recharge
So we really laid low this weekend. With Eric getting back late on Friday night and subsequently not feeling too well after we got back from the childhood conversion seminar, we are working on getting the whole family recuperated which meant lots of rest. Eric and I are fighting what the babies had. The boys are doing really well but we just have the congestion and headache that we are still trying to fight off. No church for us today which was a big bummer but it's no good spreading the sickness around to even more people. We actually did okay with the time change last night. The boys happened to take a longer nap in the afternoon and did not wake up until close to 5:00 pm. Once they were up, it was only an hour before they were getting ready for bed again. They jib jabbed in their cribs for quite a while and eventually fell asleep. They woke up at 5:40 am which would normally be 6:40 am and that is within their normal time range if not a bit later.
In laying low, I was looking at ideas for the boys' first birthday party online. I was even getting Eric excited about it. I am trying to come up with decorating ideas that are not expensive and I think I have some pretty good ideas. I would love to hop on the Pinterest bandwagon but I think I need to hold out a while longer. I know it would be a big temptation and a time suck for me.
I think the boys can totally say 'dada' but they pick and choose when they want to. Winston was in the exersaucer today and Eric was talking to him. He looked right at Eric and said 'dada' clear as could be. He would not repeat it of course. The last week when Eric was gone they did not say dada which is a pretty common sound for them to normally make. Coincidence? Maybe it is but it's fun to think they are getting that much closer to being able to talk to us. I look forward to all the many many questions that I will need to field and answer over the coming years.
Here are my baby boys in the pajamas that their great grandma Ida sent them. Did I mention that these pajamas are in the 12 mos. size and fit perfectly? These boys have been growing like weeds in the last month.
In laying low, I was looking at ideas for the boys' first birthday party online. I was even getting Eric excited about it. I am trying to come up with decorating ideas that are not expensive and I think I have some pretty good ideas. I would love to hop on the Pinterest bandwagon but I think I need to hold out a while longer. I know it would be a big temptation and a time suck for me.
I think the boys can totally say 'dada' but they pick and choose when they want to. Winston was in the exersaucer today and Eric was talking to him. He looked right at Eric and said 'dada' clear as could be. He would not repeat it of course. The last week when Eric was gone they did not say dada which is a pretty common sound for them to normally make. Coincidence? Maybe it is but it's fun to think they are getting that much closer to being able to talk to us. I look forward to all the many many questions that I will need to field and answer over the coming years.
Friday, September 16, 2011
Random Friday
-This past week was pretty difficult on the sleep front. The boys were both waking up to eat every three hours. Pretty sure it was the standard six month growth spurt. Last night was so much better. They each slept over eight hours before waking up to eat again--thank you Jesus! I was getting a bit frazzled there but am seeing strong hope for more sleep.
-Made a ton of pureed carrots for the boys last night. So much more economical than jarred baby food and it does not have all the preservatives and added junk. Think I might have to post about making baby food as I do more of it.
-The boys are picking up eating with a spoon pretty quickly. Hopefully the cereal and vegetables in their diet will help with the spitting up. We gave Abraham the first dose of his reflux medicine today. He has been more irritable the last couple weeks so maybe the meds will help.
-Tomorrow we are going to try to do photos of the boys again. Hopefully it will go better than last time.
-I am hoping to post about Adam and Alisha's wedding this weekend. I just have not had the energy this past week.
-Starting to see hints of fall. The mornings have been cool enough that I use my heater on the way to work. Then afternoon comes and it's hot again. Today had a cool breeze though. Looking forward to sweaters and scarves and pumpkin, lots of pumpkin.
Happy Friday everyone!
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
-Made a ton of pureed carrots for the boys last night. So much more economical than jarred baby food and it does not have all the preservatives and added junk. Think I might have to post about making baby food as I do more of it.
-The boys are picking up eating with a spoon pretty quickly. Hopefully the cereal and vegetables in their diet will help with the spitting up. We gave Abraham the first dose of his reflux medicine today. He has been more irritable the last couple weeks so maybe the meds will help.
-Tomorrow we are going to try to do photos of the boys again. Hopefully it will go better than last time.
-I am hoping to post about Adam and Alisha's wedding this weekend. I just have not had the energy this past week.
-Starting to see hints of fall. The mornings have been cool enough that I use my heater on the way to work. Then afternoon comes and it's hot again. Today had a cool breeze though. Looking forward to sweaters and scarves and pumpkin, lots of pumpkin.
Happy Friday everyone!
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
The Boys Did It!
Last night Abraham and Winston went to bed at 8:45 pm and did not wake up until 6:15 am. Wow! When the alarm went off this morning, it was weird/sad/wonderful realizing that I had not been up with either one of them.
Still feel tired though. We are so used to waking up that we both kept...waking up. Now Eric and I need to train ourselves to go to bed before 10:30 or 11:00. :-)
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
Still feel tired though. We are so used to waking up that we both kept...waking up. Now Eric and I need to train ourselves to go to bed before 10:30 or 11:00. :-)
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
Saturday, August 6, 2011
Sleep Training
In early June I had posted that we had reached a major milestone, sleeping through the night. Abraham had slept through the night multiple times in a row and Winston was beginning to sleep in longer runs, typically 4-5 hours. Then there was major regression in the following weeks and I was really disheartened. The boys were each waking up 2-3 times a night again. I was a zombie and on the verge of a break down. The human body can only be sleep deprived for so long without feeling ill effects. There is a reason that sleep deprivation is used as a method of torture. I was not being effective at work and felt so behind on stuff at home.
But I digress, I became convinced that it was time to put the boys in their nursery and take back our bedroom. Now, I am glad that we co-slept (the babies sleeping in bassinets close to our bed). I think in general it was good for the whole family. It allowed me to stabilize my milk supply, helped us learn about the boys' personalities and helped us bond with them. The issue is that babies are smart and they know how to get their needs and wants met. Out of exhaustion I was unwittingly rewarding undesirable behavior by bringing the babies into bed and falling asleep while nursing. Winston especially I think became aware that crying meant nursing and getting to be close to mom. Every time I put him back in the bassinet, he would cry and I came to realize he was the one calling the shots. I am learning that while I have a lot of Attachment Parenting (AP) tendencies that I also believe in healthy balance. I believe that child centered parenting can lead to a lot of problems and ultimately it is a parent's responsibility to direct a child, teach them how to develop positive sleep patterns and learn self-control. I was not envisioning a future where I was getting up in the middle of the night with two 9 month olds. Here a lot of true AP parent types will argue that there is a reason that a baby is continuing to wake up in the middle of the night at nine months of age e.g. baby needs the calories and needs to develop trust with their parents. I totally understand that and I think it comes down to each parent understanding their individual child. What may work for one child may not work for another. For our situation, the boys had both demonstrated they could sleep longer periods without needing to get calories in. Both boys have demonstrated good growth. Furthermore, at this point I think our babies need good sleep for neurological development and physical growth. One reason the newborn stage is so hard is because the baby is getting used to life outside the womb and parents are getting used to them being on the outside as well. Becoming a parent is a huge life change; becoming a parent times two the first time around is intense. I was encouraged that life would get better around twelve weeks and it did. At that point I knew that the boys had the ability to sleep longer periods, now I needed to foster that ability. We were going forward and then we stalled.
I am not the hard core shut the door and come back in 8 hours cry it out (CIO) type but tough love was needed. Just moving the boys into their own room resulted in better sleep for all within days. They did not fuss at all the first time we put them down in there for the night. We would wait several minutes after hearing them cry on the monitor before going in to get them to see if they would fall back asleep on their own. The feedings drastically dwindled from there. The results? Abraham started sleeping from about 8:30 pm to 5:00 am again consistently. Then Winston slept through the night for the first time last weekend and has continued to do so all week. He actually slept 12 hours straight last night. We are completely amazed. Here's the crazy thing and I know parents of multiples will relate to this...now our formerly good sleeper is the one waking up at night. Just when you get used to a behavior coming from one baby they change it all around. I think Abraham and Winston are in collusion in order to prevent us from ever getting decent sleep again. Abraham has been waking up all week (sigh). I have no problem with getting up one time a night for a feeding but he is waking up more than that. We are trying to do our best of feeling out if he really needs that second feeding but at this point I think it's the comfort thing again. We know their cries now and what they mean so I think we may have to extend more tough love.
I had mentioned that I was thinking about heading into solids since the boys were four months old. Other than rice cereal in their bottles, we have not progressed in solid foods but just that little addition has seemed to make a big difference. They stay satiated longer and I think that has really helped as well.
The wonderful thing about these boys getting more sleep is that their dispositions are so much better during the day. They wake up happy and are more inclined to take good, long naps. Winston can now take a 2.5 hour nap in his crib. Just weeks ago I could not have imagined that happening. They are so much better about going down for a nap now without any fussing.
So to any new twin parents out there, I know how hard it is when it comes to getting hardly any sleep. It really does get better, I promise. I don't have any system or methodology to recommend. I just started seeing patterns and behaviors and started feeling it out. I have read enough different perspectives on sleep training to leave me second guessing myself but the here are the main two things: 1. Most pediatricians will recommend sleep training after 4 months which is exactly what we did because the boys were showing signs of being ready. 2. If you have twins you will have to do some form of CIO if you want any chance of getting sleep cycles synchronized before the first year. While both boys have slept through the night, they have not done so at the same time. When the day comes that Abraham and Winston sleep eight hours straight at the same time, meaning that Eric and I will be able to also, there will be great rejoicing and celebrating in our household. And I hope to be able to post that update really soon =-)
But I digress, I became convinced that it was time to put the boys in their nursery and take back our bedroom. Now, I am glad that we co-slept (the babies sleeping in bassinets close to our bed). I think in general it was good for the whole family. It allowed me to stabilize my milk supply, helped us learn about the boys' personalities and helped us bond with them. The issue is that babies are smart and they know how to get their needs and wants met. Out of exhaustion I was unwittingly rewarding undesirable behavior by bringing the babies into bed and falling asleep while nursing. Winston especially I think became aware that crying meant nursing and getting to be close to mom. Every time I put him back in the bassinet, he would cry and I came to realize he was the one calling the shots. I am learning that while I have a lot of Attachment Parenting (AP) tendencies that I also believe in healthy balance. I believe that child centered parenting can lead to a lot of problems and ultimately it is a parent's responsibility to direct a child, teach them how to develop positive sleep patterns and learn self-control. I was not envisioning a future where I was getting up in the middle of the night with two 9 month olds. Here a lot of true AP parent types will argue that there is a reason that a baby is continuing to wake up in the middle of the night at nine months of age e.g. baby needs the calories and needs to develop trust with their parents. I totally understand that and I think it comes down to each parent understanding their individual child. What may work for one child may not work for another. For our situation, the boys had both demonstrated they could sleep longer periods without needing to get calories in. Both boys have demonstrated good growth. Furthermore, at this point I think our babies need good sleep for neurological development and physical growth. One reason the newborn stage is so hard is because the baby is getting used to life outside the womb and parents are getting used to them being on the outside as well. Becoming a parent is a huge life change; becoming a parent times two the first time around is intense. I was encouraged that life would get better around twelve weeks and it did. At that point I knew that the boys had the ability to sleep longer periods, now I needed to foster that ability. We were going forward and then we stalled.
I am not the hard core shut the door and come back in 8 hours cry it out (CIO) type but tough love was needed. Just moving the boys into their own room resulted in better sleep for all within days. They did not fuss at all the first time we put them down in there for the night. We would wait several minutes after hearing them cry on the monitor before going in to get them to see if they would fall back asleep on their own. The feedings drastically dwindled from there. The results? Abraham started sleeping from about 8:30 pm to 5:00 am again consistently. Then Winston slept through the night for the first time last weekend and has continued to do so all week. He actually slept 12 hours straight last night. We are completely amazed. Here's the crazy thing and I know parents of multiples will relate to this...now our formerly good sleeper is the one waking up at night. Just when you get used to a behavior coming from one baby they change it all around. I think Abraham and Winston are in collusion in order to prevent us from ever getting decent sleep again. Abraham has been waking up all week (sigh). I have no problem with getting up one time a night for a feeding but he is waking up more than that. We are trying to do our best of feeling out if he really needs that second feeding but at this point I think it's the comfort thing again. We know their cries now and what they mean so I think we may have to extend more tough love.
I had mentioned that I was thinking about heading into solids since the boys were four months old. Other than rice cereal in their bottles, we have not progressed in solid foods but just that little addition has seemed to make a big difference. They stay satiated longer and I think that has really helped as well.
The wonderful thing about these boys getting more sleep is that their dispositions are so much better during the day. They wake up happy and are more inclined to take good, long naps. Winston can now take a 2.5 hour nap in his crib. Just weeks ago I could not have imagined that happening. They are so much better about going down for a nap now without any fussing.
So to any new twin parents out there, I know how hard it is when it comes to getting hardly any sleep. It really does get better, I promise. I don't have any system or methodology to recommend. I just started seeing patterns and behaviors and started feeling it out. I have read enough different perspectives on sleep training to leave me second guessing myself but the here are the main two things: 1. Most pediatricians will recommend sleep training after 4 months which is exactly what we did because the boys were showing signs of being ready. 2. If you have twins you will have to do some form of CIO if you want any chance of getting sleep cycles synchronized before the first year. While both boys have slept through the night, they have not done so at the same time. When the day comes that Abraham and Winston sleep eight hours straight at the same time, meaning that Eric and I will be able to also, there will be great rejoicing and celebrating in our household. And I hope to be able to post that update really soon =-)
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