Working Mom to Stay at Home Mom

I hit an anniversary over Thanksgiving weekend.  It was a year ago that I was starting the transition from having a full time job outside the home to staying at home with the boys.  I have now been a stay at home mom for twice as long as I was a working mom. Wow, that is crazy.  To be honest, I do not think I am any better at this gig now than when I first started.  I have learned and am continuing to learn some valuable lessons in all of it.  I am thankful that I have the comparison of being a working mom to look back on. It helps encourage me during the difficult days with the boys that I am so blessed to be able to spend as much time with them as I do.

There are the moms out there that seem to just genuinely love domestic life and are really good at it.  They never look back at their working days with a nostalgic wistfulness.  I am not one of those women.  I struggle with the mundane tasks that need to be done over and over.  It used to be that I found cleaning to be somewhat relaxing.  I got home and found satisfaction in doing housework.  I had areas of my life compartmentalized. Now I live at my workplace, so to speak, and it can be quite maddening sometimes.  I see stuff all the time that is not getting done and I get frustrated.  It is hard to gauge the level of your work.  There are no more formal evaluations and verbal feedback as to your performance.  So I look at my boys and their physical and intellectual growth and tell myself that I am succeeding despite the petty housework issues that fall by the wayside. 

Another thing that women do not tell each other enough is that staying at home with small children can be an incredibly isolating experience.  There are aspects of working that I miss tremendously.  It is very difficult to physically work just as hard if not harder than you ever have before and not feel appreciated.  Earning a pay check brought me a big chunk of my self-esteem.  Putting on decent clothing, doing my make-up and hair everyday and having conversations with other intelligent adults did a lot to boost my morale.  It is so easy to say, "I will never be one of those women that let myself go."  I get that. I totally do.  It is not that I sit around all day and fail to take care of myself.  It is just hard to motivate myself to beautify when Eric is out of town and the only people I see for several days in a row are Abraham and Winston.  The boys care that mama sits down and plays with them.  They do not care about my hair.  It is a tough balance to strike and I think like most things in life it is a constant effort to do so.

Becoming a mother taught me a whole new level of patience and selflessness and staying at home with the boys even multiplied that.  I have laid aside my ambitions and desires for the good of my children. It is hard some days.  Satan can tempt me with the thought that I deserve more and that I need more in this life to be fulfilled. The reality is that I have never had greater fulfillment in my life.  My children are a joy to me. Sometimes they drive me crazy but I am so thankful that I can serve them.  I am thankful they can look back and see with my lifestyle how much I love them. 

I have been in the position where I was leaving my two month old infants in someone else's care while I commuted and worked a full eight hour day.  It was hard.  I do not envy anyone in that position.  I know what it is like to be so tired when you are driving home from work but the minute you see your kids again, you pick back up and are giving them 110%.  It is that mommy DNA that allows you to do feats of super human strength.  Love drives and compels you everyday to do what you need to do to provide for your children.  I have some friends that are working moms and I am amazed to see what they do on a daily basis.  They could seriously run circles around me in the tasks they accomplish.  There is no right and there is no wrong when it comes to a mom working.  It is the unique situation and conviction of each family to decide whether mom is going to go outside the home to earn an income.

Me with my little bubbas at one week old.

To the stay at home moms, you are my hero.  To the working moms, you are my hero.  To those moms that are doing the very best you can for your kids every single day, you are my hero. We are all mothers and we love our children.  We do what we do because we want what is best for our kids.  Let's cheer each other on no matter our individual circumstances.