Happy Easter!

It is our boys' first holiday and I was really excited. I had their little outfits all ready to go and had taken pictures of them in their little argyle sweaters.  Today has come around however and both Eric and I are completely exhausted.  The kind of tired where you're trying to get ready to go somewhere but you just stand there in a fog instead. I think the boys hit their 6 week growth spurt and keeping up with their feeding needs is really difficult.  We actually did not go to church today and used the time to catch up on some rest.  That is really hard for me because of what this day means.  For our family, Easter Sunday is important because of its religious significance and not because of candy in Easter baskets or eating brunch.  On Good Friday we went to church and the service ended with Communion (aka the Lord's Supper).  I usually really work to mentally focus on what Good Friday is all about--commemorating the death and sacrifice of Christ for my sins.  I was exceptionally tired on Friday and ended up having a melt down early Saturday morning when the boys woke up for a feeding.  I felt so weary and I was listening to all the doubts in my head that were telling me I couldn't do this.  Satan plants those doubts that tell us we are failures.  It's in the moments when we feel our weakest that our prayers are the most genuine.  I literally cried for God to help me have the stamina and patience to care for these babies.  I needed Him to make me the mom that these boys deserve.  The point of Good Friday is remembering that we cannot do it on our own.  We have no righteousness within just ourselves but only through the righteousness that Christ's death and resurrection have secured for us.  That righteousness is mine because of my faith in Christ and not because I am a good person.  I broke down the other night because I am not good.  I am weak and full of sin but praise be to God that He loves me anyway.

All that said, I look forward to helping my children understand the gospel.  I want them to understand the joy that is Resurrection Sunday.  Whereas we are somber remembering Christ's atoning death on Good Friday, we rejoice in His victory over the grave.  I can be victorious through Christ.  And yes, I am giving myself a pep talk through my own blog.  But I know that there are others who really need encouragement right now as well.  Hopefully it can help someone else. 


And since I did take those pics, I should share them:

 Winston (left) and Abraham

 They don't really acknowledge each other at all.  

I think Abraham is looking for food here.

 Abraham crying in the background.  Little photo shoot required several tries.

 Looking at the light from the window.

So close yet so far.  I look forward to them interacting.