The Temporal

I mentioned in an earlier post that Eric is gone for the next couple weeks.  The opportunity came up for me to go to Southern California with the children and visit family.  I am excited and happy to go but I am just really tired right now.  My older kids are getting up even earlier as they have not adjusted to the time change yet.  I am working with the baby to go down to sleep without me right there which means several plug-ins with the pacifier, shushing and gently jostling his bassinet.  Once he conks out he does really well but last night he did not go down until 12:30 am.  One of the older boys generally wakes up at least once during the night plus I am getting up with the newborn.  It is easy to feel weary in body and spirit.  It is easy to have pity parties.  Yet I am thankful because as a believer in Christ it forces me to distinguish between the temporal and the lasting. I feel like I have so much to do before I leave in a couple days.  It is all stuff that in and of itself is good and useful but as I was feeling frustrated tonight about feeling tired and not having gotten more done, I realized that it was all temporal. If the house is not as clean as I want it to be before I leave for my trip, it will still be there when I get back.  It just became so concrete that it is all really unimportant in the grand scheme of things.  It comes down to wanting to be perceived as organized and having it all together.  Guess what?  I don't and trying to make it happen is exhausting.

My family needs a happy, joyful mother and wife.  I got to talk to my husband for a little while tonight while he was at a job site and I was telling him about my realization.  I was actually chuckling as I told him.  Isn't it crazy how we can fixate on meaningless stuff?  I now think it is funny that I was worried about not being able to clean out the refrigerator before I left.  I am in a tough season right now but there is so much joy in it.  I get to snuggle and love on my kids every. single. day. and am married to such a kind, wonderful man. It is such a gift and I am thankful that the Lord uses these little moments to redeem me and make me more like Him. 

Matthias showing his papa his wiggles and giggles via FaceTime.